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There are many ways to pick a first dance including picking a song with a special meaning, that’s romantic or memorable, that’s great to dance to, suits your wedding theme or venue, is popular with celebrities, features on a film or tv show you love, your friends, family or wedding band suggest, you found on Spotify or iTunes or is quite simply your favorite song ever!
I speak with lots of couples who have no idea what to pick when it comes to their first dance, can’t narrow down their list of choices, or are wondering if they should even have a first dance at all! There are loads of simple tricks you can use to pick your first dance so for those of you who do want a first dance, are thinking about it, or still aren’t sure, I can help! I’ve taken our combined 15 years of experience suggesting, planning, and performing first dances for lovely couples to come up with 22 essential tips, tricks, and ideas for you!
There’s plenty of information out there on the perfect first dance and how to pick one but why not get some inspiration and insight from the people who perform these songs for you week in and week out? Us wedding musicians! I will also let you in on my thoughts and feelings regarding my own first dance and also my top tips once you have a shortlist of songs or a song in mind. I cover everything so you can choose the perfect first dance for you.
You’ve got nothing to lose reading my guide and once you’ve read all my advice, there’s an infographic at the bottom summarising everything so that by the end of this guide you will know what first dance to choose! Don’t forget that you can contact us at any time obligation free if you want more help or advice.
Below are some quick links to key sections in my guide and a quick summary of every tip but it’s well worth reading the whole guide. Enjoy a wedding musician’s guide to picking a first dance song.
How to choose a first dance song
How to whittle down your song choices
Things to consider once you’ve picked your first dance song
Picking a first dance song infographic
My first dance song experience
After reading my guide you may be in need of a live wedding band to perform your first dance for you. How about a highly recommended, award-winning wedding band? There are plenty of them below in our other popular guides!
Here are all 22 of my expert tips, tricks, and ideas to help you pick that perfect first dance.
1. Don’t attach too much importance to this one dance – have fun with it!
2. Pick a song because of its special meaning?
3. Pick a song because it symbolises a special moment?
4. Choose a song because of the lyrics?
5. If you share a favourite song, pick that?
6. Pick a song because it’s truly romantic?
7. If you are struggling to choose, feel it rather than pick it
8. Don’t be embarrassed about songs you like, it’s your first dance!
9. You don’t have to love your first dance, just enjoy it and the moment
10. Use Spotify and iTunes to come up with ideas
11. Ask friends and family for ideas
12. What do celebs pick as their first dances?
13. Pick a song from your favorite TV show or movie?
14. Pick a song that matches your venue and wedding theme perhaps?
15. Choose a song you feel comfortable dancing too
16. Create a compilation first dance?
17. Involve everyone in your first dance to ease the pressure?
18. Don’t pick a song at the last minute!
19. Ask your live wedding band for suggestions
20. Do you want the band to perform the song or have the original version played?
21. Prepare a dance routine
22. If you really aren’t feeling it, don’t have a first dance!
Ahh, the dance that many a groom dreads! Joking aside, I do see plenty of petrified couples just before their first dance so remember, your first dance is important but don’t attach too much importance and pressure to this one song. Remember what this song symbolises and don’t spoil it by stressing yourself to high heaven about it! Let me guide you through all the different ways you can pick a first dance.
This is a popular and you may think obvious way to pick a first dance but if you and your other half have a song that has special meaning to you that’s pretty amazing and quite rare so follow that special meaning! These kinds of songs can have meaning for many reasons so let’s go through them all so you can get those first dance ideas flowing!
Just like my cousin who picked a song related to the Spanish Steps where he proposed, maybe there is a song that reminds you or was playing when you and your partner shared a truly special and memorable moment. It’s worth casting your mind back as it will only add to the fond memories come wedding day!
Why is Ed Sheeran’s first dance epic Thinking Out Loud so popular as a first dance? It’s those lyrics! Lyrics are arguably the most powerful part of any song so why not pick a first dance with powerful, meaningful lyrics? With a stellar live wedding band performing it and a suitable singer, it will sound simply amazing. Think of some songs where the words mean everything to you and your partner or even remind you of a special moment.
This one’s an easy one. You both have a favorite song and because of that, it has a special meaning. Can you dance to it? Do you want to? If the answer to those questions is yes, that’s the song for you! Jas from Cadence has always loved At Last by Etta James (above) and can’t wait to dance to it at her wedding one day.
Don’t worry, neither did my wife and I. We don’t really have the same taste in music and we have terrible memories so all of the above was fairly useless to us. It doesn’t matter though, who cares?! Your first dance can still be memorable, romantic, funny, silly, or whatever you want it to be! Pick a song together via the myriad of other ways I’m now going to outline and if you are still stuck, read how my wife and I picked our first dance song as that might just be the spark of inspiration you need!
Why not sit back with your partner, relax, and think of songs that feel romantic to you? Romance is everything and a romantic first dance is a great choice. Guests love them too! As a starting point, All of Me by John Legend or A Thousand Years by Christain Perri (above) are big romantic numbers.
This may sound a bit cheesy but as mentioned earlier, don’t overthink your first dance. Trying too hard to pick a first dance is only going to stress you both out. Your first dance is meant to be a fun and romantic occasion so you could just pick a song that you feel is right. It doesn’t necessarily matter what it is because if it makes you and your other half feel when you hear it, that’s all that matters!
This follows on nicely from my last point. I speak to a lot of couples feeling nervous about a first dance song choice because they think it’s too niche, too “odd” or simply not suitable. Yes, it may not sound great live or even be possible for your wedding band to perform but you could always have the recorded version. I once had a couple asking our act The League of Gentlemen (below) to perform the Disney orchestra version of Beauty and Beast. It was hard to figure out how the guys would replicate an 80-piece orchestra but we managed to write a more suitable version of the song for the couple and it worked well on the day.
The point is, who cares what song you want, it’s your wedding, your first dance, and your special moment so go for it and pick the song you want regardless. It doesn’t always have to be a well-known tune. I remember over the years performing some songs for newlyweds that I had never heard before (I listen to music almost constantly) and they turned out to be fantastic first dances.
One thing that can help you when choosing a first dance is the idea that you don’t have to totally love the song itself. If you want to dance, pick a song you can practice and dance to. If the song has meaning to you or your partner or it’s just great fun, that’s great! Your first dance can be traditional, funny, sad, romantic, or epic. Don’t worry so much about styles, trends, or stereotypes or if you truly love it. It’s your wedding and your special moment with your life partner, not a song! Enjoy it and savor the memories with your partner.
No problem, I have some more ideas to get those first dance ideas bubbling away.
You could always get all the music playlists you love, pop them on shuffle and settle down for the night with your partner and see if any songs jump out at you both. It’s a great way to get some ideas and pick a first dance. Spotify and iTunes also have some handy first dance playlists that are worth a listen.
Your friends and family know you so well and probably remember some songs that you’ve forgotten about but nonetheless had a big impact on your life or have some deeper meaning. Invite everyone over, reminisce, and chat away and see if any songs pop up.
Maybe there’s a first dance you heard about or saw at a celeb’s wedding that you liked? Why not get googling and see what celebrities pick for their first dances? Kanye West and Kim Kardashian had John Legend perform All of Me which you can watch above. That was a pretty good first dance choice.
Similarly, why not choose a song from a movie or TV show you both love? You could even pick a track from the soundtrack of a movie or TV show. Get yourself on Netflix and get some musical inspiration. Iris by Goo Goo Dolls (above) is incredibly popular with couples as a first dance and one big reason is that it was featured in the huge Hollywood movie, City of Angles.
I’ve spoken about wedding themes a lot in other guides because I know couples and their wedding planners spend a lot of time perfecting their wedding themes. I know it’s a huge part of any wedding so why not pick a song that matches your theme or your venue? Don’t worry about other considerations, just go for something that will blend in with your wedding as a whole! It will look super stylish and work well I’m sure.
So I’ve either managed to help you already or more likely you’ve managed to whittle your first dance choices down to a few songs by yourself. Well then, with a few more tips and tricks, let’s see if we can whittle those choices down to one, shall we?
I find having a list of at least 3 songs and no more than 7 you would love to dance to can be useful. Just be realistic and chat with your band about these ideas because as I mentioned earlier, asking a 4 piece, all-male, guitar-based wedding band to perform Disney’s Beauty and the Beast is just not going to happen unless you’ve rented an 80-piece orchestra for the occasion as well!
Talk with the band or agency contact about your ideas and keep an open mind so you don’t end up being left disappointed. At Seventh Second, we have years of experience helping couples choose their first dances so don’t be shy in asking us obligation-free. For example, our act Paper Boats (above) are always happy to chat about first dance ideas with you and always create an amazing rendition of a song live.
No doubt you want to dance to any song you pick, so which song on your list is the easiest, most fun, or romantic to dance to? Which one is going to make you look amazing in front of everyone? You could come up with a special dance routine but if you do, practice it a bit! I did and it helped me on the day. It’s up to you but remember that unless you can practice or are both proficient dancers, an elaborate or even simple dance routine could stress you both out on the day.
Live wedding bands can’t perfectly replicate the song you’ve practiced to so accounting for that, nerves, excitement and that everyone is watching you and that you’ve just got married means things might not go perfectly on the dance floor. Just be realistic with your abilities and your song choice so you still have fun.
I’ve noticed over the years that compilation first dances are becoming more popular. For those couples who just can’t pick one first dance why not combine two or three into one fantastic megamix? Sometimes a wedding band may be able to perform or record this for you but usually, I see couples playing these mixes over the PA and coming up with some pretty hilarious and fantastical dance routines. They are memorable and fun first dances that’s for sure.
I have quite a few couples whose friends or relatives want to perform a first dance for them and this could be a great way to whittle down those ideas you have. You can practice with them, really getting to grips with how any of the songs would sound and it goes without saying that it can be a very special and surprising first dance indeed. I‘ve seen many a tear shed during these kinds of first dances and enjoyed co-performing these songs with the friends or family of newlyweds.
I know you have a lot going on planning a wedding, I’ve been there! However, don’t put off picking your first dance until the last minute. Even if you’ve narrowed it down to 3 songs, use all my tips and tricks to get your song picked sooner rather than later. That way, you can sit with your final decision for a while and see if it truly is the song you want. It also gives your band time to prepare and practice the song for you. I’ve had couples change their first dance on their wedding day because they left it all a bit last minute. Whoops!
Experienced wedding bands like ours each perform around 100 first dances a year and have collected years of knowledge. Because those musicians run this website (myself included) we have some great suggestions to help you out so don’t be afraid to ask! We can help narrow down your list, brainstorm with you, or suggest completely different songs that you may never have considered. Below are some suggestions from our lovely band Good Fellas (above). They have compiled a list of some of the most enduring and popular wedding songs out there that they often perform.
Drops of Jupiter (Train)
All of Me (John Legend)
First Day Of My Life (Bright Eyes)
You Really Got Me (The Kinks)
Marry You (Bruno Mars)
You’ve Got The Love (Florence and the Machine)
Grow Old With Me (Tom Odell)
I Won’t Give Up (Jason Mraz)
Kiss Me (Sixpence None The Richer)
Let Her Go (Passenger)
Make My Dreams Come True (Hall & Oates)
Mykonos (Fleet Foxes)
Perfect (Ed Sheeran)
Songbird (Oasis)
Valerie (Amy Winehouse)
The One (Kodaline)
Thinking Out Loud (Ed Sheeran)
To Be With You (Mr Big)
Toothpaste Kisses (Maccabees)
Stand by Me (Ben E. King)
Wonderful Tonight (Eric Clapton)
Wonderful World (Sam Cooke)
I’d also strongly recommend our super popular guide below as it has some great first dance ideas!
The top 10 wedding songs of all time
I chat to a lot of couples about choosing a first dance and many seem to get stressed about what to pick or what they think they should pick. It’s a bit of a strange thing to say in a guide like this, but if you don’t feel like having a first dance or can’t choose one, don’t have one! It’s becoming more common for couples not to have a first dance and in the hundreds of weddings I’ve performed at, I’ve never heard anyone say, “Well it could have been a great wedding, but there was no first dance.” When it comes to the crunch on your wedding day, your friends and family will love your wedding if you do.
Maybe you are a couple who has had no trouble picking a first dance so let’s look at that.
A bit of planning and preparation will increase the chances that your wedding musicians can perform your special song but be realistic about the song or atmosphere you want to create. Some other pointers our couples have found useful over the years are…
Are you worried about the limelight or simply want everyone involved in your first dance? Just let your live band know. Some of the best first dances I’ve performed have been with everyone on the dance floor, reveling in the moment with the happy couple. Our bands will always get all your guests up on the dance floor with you if and when you want them. It really can help you if you are nervous on the day.
Sometimes, it’s better to dance along to the original recording of a song because it’s at a tempo you are used to and as I’ve mentioned, if you’re not the most confident of dancers or you’ve worked out a specific dance routine, dancing to the original song is probably going to work for the better. I would say that 9 times out of 10, our wedding bands perform the song couples ask for and it always works well but we can’t guarantee that’s the industry standard.
Listen to a wedding band’s advice as they should have a lot of experience and after all and they only want to make sure you have a fantastic day. Many wedding bands (ours included) can sometimes make little recordings of your first dance so you get a feel for how it will sound live at your wedding. Don’t expect a polished, studio-quality recording from them unless you are willing to pay for it though. Recording in a studio is expensive!
For a bit of insight and hopefully inspiration, I’ll let you in on my and my wife’s thoughts and decisions when it came to choosing our first dance two years ago. My wife is an experienced dancer and I’m a terrible, inexperienced dancer so we decided to pick a first dance in which she could teach me some suitable yet basic dance moves that appeared convincing and that we could enjoy with our friends and family.
We asked our wedding musicians to get everyone up and dancing for the first dance with us too. Asking this made me feel more comfortable dancing and had the added bonus of everyone having a great dance together! I would strongly recommend asking your wedding musicians about this if you felt like us at all.
We picked Paulo Nutini’s Pencil Full of Lead (above) as our first dance for simple reasons. It’s easy and fun to dance to, great for group dancing, and not too long! Like many couples during their first dance, we didn’t want to be the centre of attention for too long. It’s also a fast, energetic song so was a great way to get our wedding party going with a bang.
We did practice some dance moves and a loose choreography beforehand but I asked my wife to not make it too complicated as I’d get confused on the night and not be able to enjoy our dance. She found a great balance and I honestly did enjoy my first dance which I didn’t think was going to happen. I honestly thought I would embarrass my new bride with my awful dancing. She didn’t get to perform any of her amazing dance moves but she loved our first dance because we had fun, our guests had fun and we all danced like crazy. Surprisingly, looking back, it was a real highlight of my wedding and I’m very happy about that.
As promised, here is my infographic guide to picking a first dance
At the end of the day, whatever you decide, just make sure you have fun with your first dance and enjoy the special moment that it is. Enjoy choosing a first dance because that’s what it’s all about – you want to be creating happy memories with this dance! While researching this topic I found this interesting book on the history of dance down the ages including the history of dancing for weddings and ceremonies, worth a read for sure.
Pop back next week to read more invaluable tips and tricks when it comes to hiring live wedding entertainment and don’t forget that we are here to help or design the perfect live wedding band for you 7 days a week, 10 am to 10 pm via all the socials, email, text, live chat and phone.
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Thanks!
Matt and the Seventh Second Team
